thumbs up.

my mind is in a place it hasn’t been in, in a damn long time – i don’t mind it.

it’s literally craving all the little, wonderful details of life – all of the happy, itty bitty – nonchalant everyday details – small things – that make life so so good.

i’m juiced up on candy and coffee – i’ve been up since 7, so that may be the reason for my strong urge to skip my midterm and go strolling across my campus – or better yet, jump on a train and head towards the city

i’m feeling rather andventurous today

although i’m fully aware of the fact that TODAY i can’t bail on my midterm, i’m looking forward to escaping reality a bit this week – once my exams are over, i plan on indulging in being a free spirit ;p

i have rihanna’s “we fell in love” video on loop – it’s probably played 23 times in the last ten minutes – you catch my drift?

ps – i’m back on facebook – but i found being sucked in again – therefore, a few minutes ago i deleted the app from my mobile, must control my usage

i control facebook – it does not control me.

_____________________________

incase you haven’t noticed – fall is in full effect; colorful leaves and all – i’m seriously wanting a flower.

or a ray of sunshine… something along those lines.

nah’m sayin?

watch this video. and don\’t do drugs.

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stix

i won’t be going too much into detail – but i had a damn good day yesterday

pspsps i got my research position :) woohoo!

and had a very promising first date

fingers crossed

today: studying my life away and waiting for a kitkat break.

TOODLES.

difference.

its been a damn long time since i’ve sat down to write out whats inside.

the last few months have been one hell of a ride – ups and downs, twists & turns.

that’s life.

i’ve been super sick this week, experienced a few things i’ve never experienced in my life.

i’m okay.

i really, truly enjoy learning new things about myself & others.

curiosity killed the cat

however, i do wish some things were ‘kinder’ – if that makes sense.

today should have been the first day of my last semester in undergraduate university – unfortunately, due to the damage caused by irene, classes now begin on thursday. i am ritually preparing myself for the gre exam on september 17, doing my best to focus & understand key concepts of the damn standardized test -_-

fingers crossed; we’ll see what happens.

plans for the future include applying to my master’s & phd programs – & getting in! ha… applications are due by january 17, so i’ve still got some time :x

also: i’m done with the search for mister right.

it seems that my search has been long terminated – i am ready to live by no plan.

hoping for the best, expecting the worst.

maybe my plan has been all wrong – get married by 23, 2 kids by 25 – maybe it’s not how it’s supposed to be.

time will tell.

i’m ready for some fun.

who needs a man – when you’ve got men ;]

oh hello

i introduce; tim & jean

when sunshine comes around, will you still be with me?
you know it’s not the same, but you can count to three
why don’t you find yourself a nice dress to wear
while you’re at it, you might as well even care

I can’t complain with what I’ve got in this life
possessions only make it hard to feel alright
that’s why it’s so much harder for people to smile

hold on, girl, don’t be talking like that to me
I’m the one who’s been there through the misery
fall in love, ’cause I’m supposed to be the bad guy
I just need to take a breath and look with my eyes

we’re never gonna feel the same
hey, no, look what you’ve done now
you should’ve been the one to blame
hey, no, look what you’ve done now

I can’t complain with what I’ve got in this life
possessions only make it hard to feel alright
that’s why it’s so much harder for people to smile

we’re never gonna feel the same
hey, no, look what you’ve done now
you should’ve been the one to blame
hey, no, look what you’ve done now

———-

feels super summery

[CANCUN IN EIGHT DAYS]

WOOTAYWOOOOT

electrifying.

my mind seems to be in a pretty good place recently, i’ve been keeping rather quiet, but focused – getting things done – i’ve had a lot to do this past week. day by day i’m clearing my head just as much as i’m learning – i’m realizing that the only true happiness i can attain – is the happiness i give myself

we had a project in my art therapy class on wednesday, our focus : mandala

according to dr. jung, the mandala is a representation of oneself – our task? to clear our mind and create whatever we want. traditionally, mandalas are rather symmetrical, but for this project, our prof told us to simply go with the flow – draw whatever we felt we wanted to, on a 36in diameter white piece of circular paper – she provided us with coloring materials, and we had an hour to relax.

i knew nothing about what a mandala was before starting this project, other than the fact that it was a circle – but i was excited to scribble and concoct this piece.

once our mandalas were done, our professor had translated them for us – there are twelve types of results:

(1)the void, (2)bliss, (3)labyrinth/spiral, (4)beginning, (5)the target, (6) paradoxical split/dragon fight, (7)squaring the circle, (8)the functioning ego, (9)crystallization, (10) gates of death, (11)fragmentation, (12)transcendental ecstacy

my mandala: stage seven, squaring the circle, it was wild to hear what this meant.

“this stage marks the full-fledged establishment of the ego. there is a strong sense of autonomy at this time. one has the ability to learn, plan, and love. because the ego is closely aligned with the self, an experience of inflation is not uncommon during this stage. we have incorporated within ourselves the qualities of each that are necessary for a fully functioning adult identity. sexuality that was diffused in earlier stages is focused toward genital expression. one is ready for a mate. we feel capable of initiating action instead of being the passive recipient of the actions of others. we are ready to DO and not just BE. the perspective is that of being on top of the world. consciousness is as bright and intense as the sun at high noon. thinking is highlighted and rationality is much appreciated. the task here is to put out best efforts into a quest: to find our soulmate, to identify our life work, to make a commitment. the squaring of the circle is the place where we take a stand on what we know within ourselves to be right. it is the beginning of our life lived according to our own values. behind the development of our individuality is the self, the dynamism that compels us to become who we were meant to be.”

it’s a bit crazy to think that my silly sketch revealed so much about me – and i agree with all of the information i received about my mandala from my professor.

————

i attended a 90s themed gathering last night. a group of close friends enjoyed the night dressing up, singing, and laughing. it was all a really good time.

today i was looking at pictures from the 90s. and it was really nice, i had a damn good childhood and i am living life right now.

i’m in a good place. i intend to keep it this way.

well it’s about damn time

spilling my heart out.

yatta yatta yatta

there are many people in my life that know the behind the scenes of my romantic love life – although not quite romantic, the past five months have been the most miserable i could have had when it comes to dealing with men – on the search for the one that would bring me constant joy – everlasting love – one who would never disappoint, i find myself being pickier than ever.

it’s weird because everyone will tell you that when you meet that one special person – you’ll feel it. you’ll know.

right away

well, it didn’t happen right away – but since day one, there was something that hit me harder than i saw coming – and come to think of it – i was in way over my head.

i’m admitting, outloud, for the first time in my life. i think i fell in love with a dude.

you know, all of the symptoms of what one should consider the best feeling in the world were there. lots of laughter, butterflies in my stomach. general happiness – i don’t remember worrying about a damn thing.

but that didn’t last long.

and now i’m left questioning it all.

because it’s almost like the feeling fizzled away – just started wearing off

cheers to new beginnings, brighter days & reality

if you find love, the real kind – don’t let it go

——————-

BUT ON A SWEET NOTE – I’M EXTREMELY GRATEFUL FOR MY WONDERFUL FRIENDS.

FOR ALL MEMORIES.

FOR EVERYTHING COMING MY WAY :)

don’t get the wrong idea

i’m happy

:)