the other day i had a pms all day kinda day. irritating, sweaty, back hurting, stomach aching, ANNOYING kind of day. and after several research tactics – applying my use of bodybuilding.com to the best of my ability, it’s time to seriously kick my ass.

a few months ago, i was all up on a health kick – watched every bite i put in my mouth, went to the gym rather religiously – SIGNED UP FOR A GOLD MEMBERSHIP.. and now, i’m feeling fat and bulky and womp, as much as i love food and hate working out, i’m altering my methods and eating as often and as healthy throughout the day as possible – NO JUNK FOOD. PLEASE NO JUNK FOOD. and just water, all i want is to be consuming H2O instead of the sugary, artificial crud.

i hate this.

but i know for 200+infinity% that i will feel better by the end of this stupid turnout.

i’m gna do it.

flatten my tummy & lose my thighs.

wait and see……

any tips? nutritional? exercises for a lady that has nearly no time for herself? lemme kno!


spring is in the air!

woke up a bit grumpy, and i know why

i’m on a mission to make myself over

i’ve got every thing i’ve always wanted, i’m extremely happy

big twenty two is approaching, goals:

save money

lose weight

tone my body

eat healthy

get into grad school

move out


adam and i went to breakfast this morning, more like brunch – it was amazing

he’s amazing




so as my wonderful brother has road tripped his way down our coast of the united states, in precious and heat worthy miami – my spring break is bringing me long work days and a brand new gym membership that has been brought to a halt by angelina and brad on my upper lip – if you know what i’m referring to, keep it to yourself – – if you’re not sure… do yourself a favor and omit that whole segway

march 14 2011 marked my spring break last year – for a vacation of seven days and eight nights i was in a slightly different stance than today

HOWEVER, today, a year later – i don’t mind being home for spring break

i woke up next to my man telling me i’m beautiful even though i currently have an occupant taking up my whole upper lip [brangelina] i got to spend my afternoon with him, and i get to keep seeing him most of this week

yeah yeah, my younger bro is on a trip that he’ll come back bragging about, but i’m excited for this spring break, to bring me money & daily happiness

speaking of daily happiness…today at Bell’s Mansion i enjoyed (for the third time this week) Chicken Murphy, an awesome entree on our special for Saint Parick’s Week!

tenderloins of chicken sauteed with onions, mushrooms, sweet & hot peppers, potatoes, in garlic white wine sauce – – – – pretty much heaven in my mouth

sei parte di me

when i re-read posts from my past – i realize that my thoughts from even a year ago have changed drastically, however i’m always in this loop of – what’s next?

what if tomorrow never came?

would i be content leaving my name as is?

it seems that the older i get – the more i experience – the less i truly know.

the less i trust my judgement on my own actions – beliefs.

school and work and sleep take up most hours of my life

i can only hope that it will all be worth it in the end – but nothing’s guaranteed.

i’m forced to face my daily unscheduled schedule and ‘hope’ for the best – believe that everything happens for a reason, but struggle with certain issues in my life that i have no control over – of which there are many.

it’s funny how life works. you’ve got to stay busy to stay alive.

it seems that frequently, i’m speeding through – rushing through because i’ve got to do this, i’ve got to do that.

i wonder what things would be like without a worry in the world.

i’m stressing my physics class & procrastinating.

that’s where this is coming from.


i’m complaining, i know i know – but it isn’t ALL that bad – i’ve been more happy than sad recently


random as hell

i have my physics lab due tomorrow, fancy birthday dinner for my brother, american experience key points paper due thursday, industrial psych quiz friday, halloween party on friday and saturday, and maybe monday, theories of personality paper due tuesday, and american experience paper due sometime next week

my life is so crazzzzzaay

i’m procrastinating right now – i really shouldn’t, i know i shouldn’t

i’m like, happy. word. kbyes.


rant rant rant BIRTHDAY

only two days after my birthday & i’ve already got a good taste of what being an adult is.

perhaps i expect too much of people – but that’s on me.

my cellphone was raped the night & day of my birthday – it really did make me smile; it’s always nice to hear from people you haven’t talked to in a while – some of them years – & yet they managed to send over a simple wish of a happy birthday – i won’t deny being upset over a handful that i didn’t hear from – but everything happens for a reason.

i wanted as many of my close friends to come by & enjoy the night with me – i did my best to plan in advance – but apparently a little over a month wasn’t enough time. with a novel sent out to reconfirm reservations, attire, and all other details – TWICE – rearranging plans to make it convenient for everyone but myself, seems like no one really read what i wrote anyway.

 i was hoping for an unforgettable, full of happiness & joy – amazing celebration – of my birthday, not that it’s any big deal – but i figured all my closest friends would be there so it was BOUND to be fabulous. i felt like i couldn’t relax – maybe it was my mind set – but i had made it a point that i’d like it for people to be there on time – reservations for 7:30 – i assumed my guests would try and get there a bit early, knowing that appetizers were ready to go when we walk in – i was wrong. i sat at my birthday dinner – at a table for 25 by myself for at least 15 minutes – at which point my best friend walked in – at around 8pm the rest of my party joined us..and my last guests didn’t show up till 9:40 – at which point i had already asked for the check.

i understand everyone has got their own things to worry about – but it thoroughly upset me – and everyone knew it after a few martinis.

hey remember when i invited everyone over to come hang out so that everyone could have a good time? they couldn’t make it – and he couldn’t come – and she had work in the morning…. thank you for telling me at the end of the night rather than at noon when i had changed plans.

it was all a mess. but perhaps i just took it to heart.

i appreciate my friends for coming & i am SUPER thankful for all the gifts. but a lesson has been learned that birthday dinners will no longer be a part of my birthday celebration. i’m never again planning anything in advance. i looked like a fool – high five to that – cause i guess that’s what i am.

on another note – thanks to my two lovebirds, i got to experience the most refreshing martini ever  – & with shots on the house, we were like superstars – i hope my wish comes true.

i just felt super negative & i didn’t like it.

what a way to start off the year! – i guess that’s what i get though for attempting to not be superstitious and make plans for friday the 13th.

BUT it’s over now & i have an amazing summer to look forward to.

lessons learned & it isn’t anything to fuss about – even though i just did… hahaahaha maybe that’s why i already feel better.

i needed to vent & get this out without telling anyone individually – if i know my friends like i think i do – they know this rant is coming.

i love you all very much.

i apologize for being a bitch – if i was

well it’s about damn time

spilling my heart out.

yatta yatta yatta

there are many people in my life that know the behind the scenes of my romantic love life – although not quite romantic, the past five months have been the most miserable i could have had when it comes to dealing with men – on the search for the one that would bring me constant joy – everlasting love – one who would never disappoint, i find myself being pickier than ever.

it’s weird because everyone will tell you that when you meet that one special person – you’ll feel it. you’ll know.

right away

well, it didn’t happen right away – but since day one, there was something that hit me harder than i saw coming – and come to think of it – i was in way over my head.

i’m admitting, outloud, for the first time in my life. i think i fell in love with a dude.

you know, all of the symptoms of what one should consider the best feeling in the world were there. lots of laughter, butterflies in my stomach. general happiness – i don’t remember worrying about a damn thing.

but that didn’t last long.

and now i’m left questioning it all.

because it’s almost like the feeling fizzled away – just started wearing off

cheers to new beginnings, brighter days & reality

if you find love, the real kind – don’t let it go





don’t get the wrong idea

i’m happy