already gone

i’m in bed, i just cleaned the room a little bit – i’m slightly hungry, the restaurant has opened, therefore i think i’ll go order something, i’m thinking lamb? but it’s only 1 in the afternoon, idk once i go down there, i’ll figure something out. but anyway, i’ve got z100 on the radio, i rarely listen to there station, they replay songs too often for my taste.. but a song is playing – which i havent heard yet, and i actually like it – i’m impressed, it’s by Kelly Clarkon, who i wouldn’t say is my favorite, but i like how mellow the song is, words are strong. good for her.

remember all the things you wanted; we were always meant to say goodbye

crazy how things change overtime, i’m not sure if you’ve seen my previous blog posts, but i have a few pictures of what my room looks like, and well, right by my bed i’ve got a wall full of pictures – i like having them here, they take me back to many different times in my life; the winter that i dyed my hair dark dark brown, how damp went to ikea to run around, take pictures – we pretended not to speak english, it was like 9 at night, a lot of fun.. or when the Polish School i attended went on a dinner cruise around manhattan, everyone got dressed up, we partied all night, or when we randomnly had a beach day with my girl Jessica, who is now a freshman at James Madison University.. its crazy what we’ve done together – i grew up with a majority of the people who are in the pictures on my wall, they all most definately influenced me in who i am today, i owe them that. i’ve got pictures from weddings, pictures from vacations in Poland, pictures from when our closest group of friends has been reunited after coming home from our vacations, birthday dinners, beach days, ventures to the park, car rides, six flags, concerts – my fondest memories of the teen years, now that i think about it, holy shit, i turn TWENTY on may 12, TWENTY. i’m old. i need to learn how to pay bills, i need a car, i need a LICENSE, i need to learn how to be old. i don’t know how- i dont want to. i want to just be a kid, i want to stop time. i know one day i will read this blog, and laugh & cry at what i wrote, i know that day i will smile and think that i had it good, i like to think i’ll have it better in the future, scary to think about whats next.

learntolovelife; annakay.