what happens when you’re living in your future

i’m on my something-th hour of work today, wednesdays through saturdays are fun, generally they’re my doubles, and i can’t say that i mind it all too much. my days consist of mingling with the strangers that enter my home, with patrons that for the most part, have become friendlier than strangers, the fact that i live in a restaurant used to feel so glass half empty, yet the older i get, the more i appreciate it i think. through the years that i’ve spent here, maybe even just sitting, listening, eating – not doing anything at all, i’ve seen so much, heard so much, learned so much. i am super grateful in a way – maybe not to the moon and back, because it is a marriage that both my parents took on, they literally work 24/7 – non stop, all the time. thinking and working and creating. and that might be the one thing i would change about living in a restaurant, if i could of course, maybe one day.. maybe one day.

but anyway, as i’m sitting here, thinking about how many posts i have written, after not writing a while.

generally – it’s an “I’M BACK” post, today, i’m just going with the flow – i missed writing.

and i missed reading as well…. i’ve just reread some posts from 2010 and it’s truly amazing what this blog does for me, it’s like a time capsule of all things annakay

the good and the bad, and i like it, i like it alot.

my life recently has been beyond words amazing. i’m in the best place in my life that i have been to this day, and it’s been like this for almost 10 months. TEN MONTHS. thats almost a year. almost 365 days that i’ve been ear to ear in smiles.. granted some days shit hits the fan a little, but sooner than later my smile is back, thanks to a very very special someone of course.

you’ve already met him through the previous entries i have posted. he is gentle, and warm, and strong, and smart, and funny, and tough and sexy and more and better than a man that i would personally design.¬†not a minute goes by without him crossing my mind.

life is good.

as of right now, i am managing my family’s restaurant, i am living day by day, no worries.

my degree came in the other day – i’m nervous to touch it, i mean, it’s the most expensive paper that i’ll ever own. pfft. i can’t wait to hear from my grad schools. i’m ready to conquer my classes and get that masters degree. sooner than later. fo’ sho’.

well it’s about damn time

spilling my heart out.

yatta yatta yatta

there are many people in my life that know the behind the scenes of my romantic love life – although not quite romantic, the past five months have been the most miserable i could have had when it comes to dealing with men – on the search for the one that would bring me constant joy – everlasting love – one who would never disappoint, i find myself being pickier than ever.

it’s weird because everyone will tell you that when you meet that one special person – you’ll feel it. you’ll know.

right away

well, it didn’t happen right away – but since day one, there was something that hit me harder than i saw coming – and come to think of it – i was in way over my head.

i’m admitting, outloud, for the first time in my life. i think i fell in love with a dude.

you know, all of the symptoms of what one should consider the best feeling in the world were there. lots of laughter, butterflies in my stomach. general happiness – i don’t remember worrying about a damn thing.

but that didn’t last long.

and now i’m left questioning it all.

because it’s almost like the feeling fizzled away – just started wearing off

cheers to new beginnings, brighter days & reality

if you find love, the real kind – don’t let it go

——————-

BUT ON A SWEET NOTE – I’M EXTREMELY GRATEFUL FOR MY WONDERFUL FRIENDS.

FOR ALL MEMORIES.

FOR EVERYTHING COMING MY WAY :)

don’t get the wrong idea

i’m happy

:)

take cover

it’s almost awkward thinking that i started this blog in january of 2009 because i was on the verge of losing my mind.

i’m constantly fighting for pure happiness – i like to think everyone is, to be honest – however, i feel that too often, people are stuck in there daily uneventful rhythms – work, school -sleep, eat, fart, work. i’ve come to realize through my own experience and that of those around me – that those aren’t the things that bring you happiness.

i’ve had extremely active dreams these past few days – however i have also been rather sick – bronchitis is going around, seems like the whole family has got it – so perhaps the dreams were triggered by a fever – nevertheless, the dreams had me thinking – where’d they come from? so unusual.

in my art therapy class today, i had a chance to let loose and create – which i haven’t done in a while – my professor made a point that our daily schedules, as vital as they are in our lives don’t really provide an outlet -yet just about all of last year i have had a few – my studio classes, the blog – and i’m sure i could think of more.

recently though – probably since september, i noticed i’m not my creative self. i rarely blog. i almost never sketch. i took two art ¬†classes last semester and as much as i should have taken advantage – i don’t think i did.

with all of my psychology classes this semester – i’m learning more about the human body, mental illness, and emotional health.

just about all physical pains and aches and mental illnesses are due to emotional instability.

they say that all good things come to an end – but with every end, there’s a new beginning.

i’m extremely excited for springtime and summer – for warm rays of sunshine, laughter and days i can spend lounging around with my friends.

this semester has just begun, yet it is already kicking my ass. i’ve still got my fingers crossed that i will be graduating early & then on to my masters program!

for now, i’m hoping to improve each and everyday with an ounce more of creativity

check the lyrics

cheers

evaluation.

i can be arrogant. i can be a bitch. i’m usually self absorbed and completely in love with myself. i can be rude. i am most frequently well mannered. i often love people – yet have a tendency to get fed up with them. i don’t usually hold back. i care for my friends and family. i try. i work a lot. i want a lot. my brothers are my favorite. i’ve got too many flaws to count. i am genuine. i can be shy. i like knowing things. i live far from everyone i care about. i’m not sure how to fix my problems. i’m not sure if i want to. i’ve got a big ego. i like laughing. i love being confident. i like making people smile. i’m excited for my future. i think its time to change a few things in my life.