big BLOOP

its funny to think that some people have life all figured out – everything is just the way they planned – they’re in control

it’s like their actions are set in stone – foundation has been there since day one

but that’s what fools many of us – judging a book by it’s cover

because you never know what a person is going through

i read somewhere today that each one of us has three lives:

a social life

a private life

& a secret life

i agree.

we all want something from this life, mostly what brings us happiness, i’d think

and it’s sad to think that when we find that true happiness – the real thing brought by another individual, that we’d give it up

i watched a movie today – and i highly recommend it to everyone – message in a bottle

the immense love that a man has for his wife and vice versa – is in my eyes, the most beautiful and sought after feeling – all that anyone could ask for

—–

with valentine’s day coming up, i can’t help but think about it

i’m curious for it, perhaps because i have never really celebrated it, many label it as a hallmark holiday – but being bitter about it simply puts you in a worse mood than normal – i say, everyone should celebrate it – even if it comes down to enjoying it with friends or solo

——————–

many people are afraid of never finding the love of their life,

but i fear that holding onto that love is more scary than anything else

but being scared together is better than losing eachother

“In a world that I seldom understand, there are winds of destiny that blow when we least expect them. Sometimes they gust with the fury of a hurricane, sometimes they barely fan one’s cheek. But the winds cannot be denied, bringing as they often do a future that is impossible to ignore. You, my darling, are the wind that I did not anticipate, the wind that has gusted more strongly than I ever imagined possible. You are my destiny.” 

Nicholas Sparks – Message in a Bottle

no matter what it looks like from the outside – no one has life figured out

we figure it out one day at a time

kevin costner played the male lead in the movie i watched today, he told the girl he fell in love with

“i don’t want to lose you”

she said, “then don’t.”

————-

these past few weeks i’ve been greatly occupied, lots of stuff going on in my life

school is great, yet already kicking my ass – i’m a bit overwhelmed, but the way i’ve calculated it, i should be graduating next fall :) so i’ve got my fingers crossed – already looking for an internship because my masters program gave me anxiety, so i’m trying to get my pre reqs in line prior to applying

i’ve been in awful pain all week, i feel like a cripple – something isn’t right and i’ve got my fingers crossed that my doctor will figure it out, appointment has been made for tuesday and i’m actually nervous – i rarely get nervous.

 

 

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what’s next?

put down a lot of money to see this woman today – a medium, a psychic medium.

now, i know i saw one about a month ago – but i promise, this woman was the last for this year – ha.

she told me many things about my life which i am actually looking forward to – she evaluated my life without me giving her a word about it.

she told me things about current situations in my life – and i guess, to be honest she was pretty on point.

i’m still not sure whether or not she actually saw my grandparents – or whether she has predicted my future correctly, but she reinforced the fact that all that i want – i will get.

i’m happy where i’m at

i wonder where i’ll be in a few years – really

go figure.

they say that when you meet that special somebody – you just know.

——————–

“it may be a reason – but it’s no excuse”

——————-

“Every day we make choices, and every night we must sleep with the consequences of those choices.”

—————

i’ve spent a lot of time in my childhood thinking about a house i would one day like to live in, i would not mind something like this

i like it a lot.

——–

i am who i am, but i wouldn’t mind changing for that special somebody.

but this timing thing is killing me, i want it now.

self-criticize.

it’s my father’s birthday today, i wonder how many things he’s wanted in life – that he didn’t receive, if any at all.

———-

Some people dream of success while others wake up and work hard at it.

-unknown

———

we never know what any person is going through, what they have, what they don’t have, the reality between their actual persona or a faux reflection of their personality – we can very rarely tell a fake smile from a genuine one.

our mouths lie – we say we want one thing, we don’t mean it

we want everything, always

——–

i’ve been thinking about so much recently; my future for example, i feel like i’m heading in the direction i want to – i’ve got a few obstacles in my way, the journey has just begun – but i’m alright with it. i’m keeping my options open – and by that, honestly, i mean that i’ve been thinking about yet another possible occupation once my undergrad is finished up – which is soon

but, i’m living in the moment now, time to chill

celebrate today like it’s your birthday.

 

with a whole lot of oomph

i’m sitting in the main area of where we greet our guests and of course – i’m on twitter, i was supposed to give myself a break from technology – no laptop, no music, no cellphone – for sat & sun, well guess how that went down, IT DIDN’T

lmao, but it’s all good, well, i’m on twitter – and i follow a group of legit cool people, i try and stay away from celebrities – but i’ve got a handful of designers, photographers, and just random ass people i like to follow – a bunch of them inspire me, recently – well, a few days ago, i started following this one dude, we’ve been DMing a little back and forth, he just told me what his occupation is, and if i paid attention i would have figured it out by myself, but he DMed me telling me that his occupation calls for “tons of hard work and commitment. and a whole lot of passion.” and you know, it dawned on me that well, you’ll have nothing if you don’t put hard work into something – if you’re not committed, well your plan at a successful life will backfire, and the passion part, well that’s honestly, a CONGRATS, if you like what you do, and you do it well – i mean, it can’t get better then that, cause it’s what you get paid for, the hard work will pay off – if it hasn’t already, and i know you’re not complaining about it, i’m just pointing it out, kudos to you!

i personally canNOT wait till i graduate college, and start my life – stay away from this restaurant and do what i love, work with kids – make a difference, it’s going to happen, i’ll make it happen, and i seriously can’t wait.

fancy cars, limited edition high priced cellphones, vacations once a month – i mean, that’s not my thing.

call me a loser, but i want a farm with a horse and a husband who will make me hot cocoa – and my heart will be all warm because i can work with kids and help them become who they would like to.

ah i just want it to be in the now

everything will happen in its own time, i know it will.

i don’t know if that whole banglang made sense – but… you caught my drift, eh?

speaking of

ok ok; i’m just clearing the air out there for my readers <3

i’m not pursuing this blog by any means to get into the stuff that [ lukegk or duckie or phil etc ] get into ; this stuff revolves around me, my thoughts, my opinions, my fears, my options, MY LIFE – and those i just mentioned had great content which influence me and the music i hear, and the things i see, i just recently discovered the award tour by phil, a friend showed me his shit, i’m not sure how i didnt come across it earlier since i read luke’s shit everyday, but whatever, the content is fresh – you can’t deny it, duckie has got her thing going, she’s good with the interviews and photography – – i don’t have a fab camera or the balls to ask people questions which i personally don’t have a need for, i LOVE music, however blogging is not something which i hope to become my career, these fellow bloggers i’m referring to have nuts and balls and are great to the society of both music and art – especially on the internet. much respect to them. and well recently – through both luke and phils sites – i came across TONE, he’s the one that captures the moment [s]. his shit is ridiculous, guy’s got good looks on snapping life into a ‘thing’ something we can  look at and be like  – – oh damn.

so spread your wings – i’m doing my thing by leaving the works to those doing it, by telling you to support them – how about you clear your head, think of what it is you want to be doing, and DO IT

buy that fucking camera, learn how to play the piano, grab your nuts and get on stage, learn to cook, write a poem, get on swim team

i’m pursuing a career in working with kids – kids are who i want to work with, i’m going to make it happen

what’s happening for you?!

 

random ass post – i know, i’m just throwing it out there, and i hope that these kids are okay with me mentioning them – goodjob babies; annakay