what happens when you’re living in your future

i’m on my something-th hour of work today, wednesdays through saturdays are fun, generally they’re my doubles, and i can’t say that i mind it all too much. my days consist of mingling with the strangers that enter my home, with patrons that for the most part, have become friendlier than strangers, the fact that i live in a restaurant used to feel so glass half empty, yet the older i get, the more i appreciate it i think. through the years that i’ve spent here, maybe even just sitting, listening, eating – not doing anything at all, i’ve seen so much, heard so much, learned so much. i am super grateful in a way – maybe not to the moon and back, because it is a marriage that both my parents took on, they literally work 24/7 – non stop, all the time. thinking and working and creating. and that might be the one thing i would change about living in a restaurant, if i could of course, maybe one day.. maybe one day.

but anyway, as i’m sitting here, thinking about how many posts i have written, after not writing a while.

generally – it’s an “I’M BACK” post, today, i’m just going with the flow – i missed writing.

and i missed reading as well…. i’ve just reread some posts from 2010 and it’s truly amazing what this blog does for me, it’s like a time capsule of all things annakay

the good and the bad, and i like it, i like it alot.

my life recently has been beyond words amazing. i’m in the best place in my life that i have been to this day, and it’s been like this for almost 10 months. TEN MONTHS. thats almost a year. almost 365 days that i’ve been ear to ear in smiles.. granted some days shit hits the fan a little, but sooner than later my smile is back, thanks to a very very special someone of course.

you’ve already met him through the previous entries i have posted. he is gentle, and warm, and strong, and smart, and funny, and tough and sexy and more and better than a man that i would personally design. not a minute goes by without him crossing my mind.

life is good.

as of right now, i am managing my family’s restaurant, i am living day by day, no worries.

my degree came in the other day – i’m nervous to touch it, i mean, it’s the most expensive paper that i’ll ever own. pfft. i can’t wait to hear from my grad schools. i’m ready to conquer my classes and get that masters degree. sooner than later. fo’ sho’.

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sei parte di me

when i re-read posts from my past – i realize that my thoughts from even a year ago have changed drastically, however i’m always in this loop of – what’s next?

what if tomorrow never came?

would i be content leaving my name as is?

it seems that the older i get – the more i experience – the less i truly know.

the less i trust my judgement on my own actions – beliefs.

school and work and sleep take up most hours of my life

i can only hope that it will all be worth it in the end – but nothing’s guaranteed.

i’m forced to face my daily unscheduled schedule and ‘hope’ for the best – believe that everything happens for a reason, but struggle with certain issues in my life that i have no control over – of which there are many.

it’s funny how life works. you’ve got to stay busy to stay alive.

it seems that frequently, i’m speeding through – rushing through because i’ve got to do this, i’ve got to do that.

i wonder what things would be like without a worry in the world.

i’m stressing my physics class & procrastinating.

that’s where this is coming from.

—————–

i’m complaining, i know i know – but it isn’t ALL that bad – i’ve been more happy than sad recently

yay

borrowed.

“pursue your dreams, make goals for yourself, be honest with those around you, be spontaneous, live in the moment, keep on achieving, never give up, pick yourself up when you fall, don’t let anything slip through your fingers and get rid of everything that’s bad for you, and than breathe the sweetest air of being alive”

make it happen [ialeks]

i can feel it.

I WANT TO TRAVEL THE WORLD. I WANT TO SKY DIVE. I WANT TO SAIL AROUND THE WORLD. I WANT TO COOK. I WANT A COZY HOME. I WANT A LOVING HUSBAND. I WANT LITTLE HEALTHY BABIES. I WANT MY OWN GARDEN. I WANT A BOAT. I WANT A FIRE PIT. I WANT A LAKE. I WANT AN AIRPLANE. I WANT EXTRA SPECIAL HOLIDAYS AND BIRTHDAYS. I WANT TO HELP THOSE IN NEED. I WANT TO FEEL FREE. I WANT IT ALL.

I WILL SUCCEED.

AS SCARED AS I AM, I’M LOOKING FORWARD TO THE FUTURE.

“TWENTY YEARS FROM NOW YOU WILL BE DISAPPOINTED BY THE THINGS THAT YOU DIDN’T DO THAN BY THE ONES YOU DID DO. SO THROW OFF THE BOWLINES. SAIL AWAY FROM SAFE HARBOR. CATCH THE TRADE WINDS IN YOUR SAILS. EXPLORE. DREAM. DISCOVER.”

-MARK TWAIN.