my mind seems to be in a pretty good place recently, i’ve been keeping rather quiet, but focused – getting things done – i’ve had a lot to do this past week. day by day i’m clearing my head just as much as i’m learning – i’m realizing that the only true happiness i can attain – is the happiness i give myself

we had a project in my art therapy class on wednesday, our focus : mandala

according to dr. jung, the mandala is a representation of oneself – our task? to clear our mind and create whatever we want. traditionally, mandalas are rather symmetrical, but for this project, our prof told us to simply go with the flow – draw whatever we felt we wanted to, on a 36in diameter white piece of circular paper – she provided us with coloring materials, and we had an hour to relax.

i knew nothing about what a mandala was before starting this project, other than the fact that it was a circle – but i was excited to scribble and concoct this piece.

once our mandalas were done, our professor had translated them for us – there are twelve types of results:

(1)the void, (2)bliss, (3)labyrinth/spiral, (4)beginning, (5)the target, (6) paradoxical split/dragon fight, (7)squaring the circle, (8)the functioning ego, (9)crystallization, (10) gates of death, (11)fragmentation, (12)transcendental ecstacy

my mandala: stage seven, squaring the circle, it was wild to hear what this meant.

“this stage marks the full-fledged establishment of the ego. there is a strong sense of autonomy at this time. one has the ability to learn, plan, and love. because the ego is closely aligned with the self, an experience of inflation is not uncommon during this stage. we have incorporated within ourselves the qualities of each that are necessary for a fully functioning adult identity. sexuality that was diffused in earlier stages is focused toward genital expression. one is ready for a mate. we feel capable of initiating action instead of being the passive recipient of the actions of others. we are ready to DO and not just BE. the perspective is that of being on top of the world. consciousness is as bright and intense as the sun at high noon. thinking is highlighted and rationality is much appreciated. the task here is to put out best efforts into a quest: to find our soulmate, to identify our life work, to make a commitment. the squaring of the circle is the place where we take a stand on what we know within ourselves to be right. it is the beginning of our life lived according to our own values. behind the development of our individuality is the self, the dynamism that compels us to become who we were meant to be.”

it’s a bit crazy to think that my silly sketch revealed so much about me – and i agree with all of the information i received about my mandala from my professor.


i attended a 90s themed gathering last night. a group of close friends enjoyed the night dressing up, singing, and laughing. it was all a really good time.

today i was looking at pictures from the 90s. and it was really nice, i had a damn good childhood and i am living life right now.

i’m in a good place. i intend to keep it this way.


i stumbled upon an extremely eye opening website the other day, i believe it is necessary to pass it on – the pictures gave me goosebumps, i would have posted them on here, however they are too graphic, take that as a warning yet do yourself a favor – check out the link -> The Decade in Pictures


a lot has been going on in my life recently, i’m rather stressed out about finals – although i’ve got my fingers crossed that i have nothing to worry about, i’m a bit anxious to get them over with – my worst one, tomorrow, psych stats – eeek

i’ve got to remember that they’re only exams, not the end of the world, i’ll be fine :)



no cursing

weekday vegeterian

gym membership

no alcohol

saving money

.. it’s a little something new i’m working on & i’m pretty excited about it – the no cursing thing is hard for me, but i’m trying.. and the gym membership shall be official hopefully by wednesday because my last final is tuesday


i came across an extremely inspiring artist a few days ago, i introduce ran hwang

“My immense wall installations are extremely time consuming and repetitive manual work. This is a form of meditative practice that helps me to find inner peace. By hammering thousands of pins into a wall, I discover significance of existence. “

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ps my holiday shopping is all done.. is yours?! check out the cool hunting gift guide they put together some sweet gift ideas / karmaloop has also provided gifts guides for him and for her ;]


something happened this week

hypothetical situation: girl is dating guy – guy loves girl – – girl loves guy – guy stops talking to girl – gives no reason – month passes – guy comes back – begs back for girl – girl is torn.

we all know we deserve the best of the best – right? all bullshit aside, we don’t want to play games with the one we believe we love – games are for those of 13 and under, people should stick to that, especially when it comes to the love game, its overrated

its a scary thought to have to decide whether you forgive or forget – or neither.

we have about three couples that have shared past experiences with a few members on staff at the restaurant, their ages range from 50 – 80

i believe they are all married, although i could be wrong – their situation in 2010 – they are seeing eachother behind their current partner’s back

over twenty years ago, they say that they were eachother’s first love.. they were perfect together – and then something happened, they had obstacles in the way – they couldn’t be together, so they moved on

they got married to other people – had kids, had great lives – however they can’t help but keep seeing eachother – even after so many years.

i’m so scared of that.

to marry someone and love that person – yet love somebody else, so much more

people mess up – sometimes we don’t do what we’re supposed to, sometimes we take advantage of eachother, when is enough – really enough?

how do we determine that we should give up on someone and move on or forgive them and try again?


from Psychology Today

Relationship Rules

Tips on how to build a healthy love life with your spouse.
By Hara Estroff Marano, published on October 01, 2004 – last reviewed on November 19, 2010

Never go to sleep angry. Try a little tenderness.

Apologize, apologize, apologize. Anyone can make a mistake. Repair attempts are crucial—highly predictive of marital happiness. They can be clumsy or funny, even sarcastic—but willingness to make up after an argument is central to every happy marriage.

Some dependency is good, but complete dependency on a partner for all one’s needs is an invitation to unhappiness for both partners. We’re all dependent to a degree—on friends, mentors, spouses. This is true of men as well as women.

Maintain self-respect and self-esteem. It’s easier for someone to like you and to be around you when you like yourself.

Research has shown that the more roles people fill, the more sources of self-esteem they have. Meaningful work—paid or volunteer—has long been one of the most important ways to exercise and fortify a sense of self.

Enrich your relationship by bringing into it new interests from outside the relationship. The more passions in life that you have and share, the richer your relationship will be. It is unrealistic to expect one person to meet all of your needs in life.

Cooperate, cooperate, cooperate. Share responsibilities. Relationships work ONLY when they are two-way streets, with much give and take.

Stay open to spontaneity.

Maintain your energy. Stay healthy.

Recognize that all relationships have their ups and downs and do not ride at a continuous high all the time. Working together through the hard times will make the relationship stronger.

Make good sense of a bad relationship by examining it as a reflection of your beliefs about yourself. Don’t just run away from a bad relationship; you’ll only repeat it with the next partner. Use it as a mirror to look at yourself, to understand what in you is creating this relationship. Change yourself before you change your relationship.

Understand that love is not an absolute, not a limited commodity that you’re in of or out of. It’s a feeling that ebbs and flows depending on how you treat each other. If you learn new ways to interact, the feelings can come flowing back, often stronger than before.