yet another day, downhill.
son of a bitch, why can’t i just take my own damn advice and chill?
i’ve got so much going for me.
today was a shit filled day – but why?
we had a wedding at my restaurant today, and not just the reception – but this was yet another couple that decided to get married on our patio, the groom and i had a conversation for a little – he pulled me to the side and said something that did indeed give me hope – he said that he’s been married before – but this was different, he knew within six weeks of dating his now new wife, that she really was the one – she was his best friend.
he said that he’s not surprised a man hasn’t come around and swept me off my feet – i’m hard to please, but he told me to close my eyes, and my second half will find me, all i have to do is believe.
and you know, maybe he’s right, maybe i need to let go of every situation in my life – rather than controlling it, maybe that’s when things will fall into place.
for twenty years of breathing on this planet, i have yet to find a genuine spark – i mean, thats a lie, i found one, but i guess the reality of it is, i’m not worth it.
one day at a time, i’m learning to take myself out of the situation i created in my head. because i did, i guess it was a little too good to be true, i say i found no flaw – but the biggest flaw of it all, is where its taken me.
i know what i deserve, i know that it will come to me. i’m done making an effort because it hasn’t made a difference.
tonight, i will dream beautiful dreams, with high hopes for a fabulous tomorrow – i’m the best of the best.
i’m the IT girl.