inhale.


yet another day, downhill.

son of a bitch, why can’t i just take my own damn advice and chill?

i’ve got so much going for me.

today was a shit filled day – but why?

we had a wedding at my restaurant today, and not just the reception – but this was yet another couple that decided to get married on our patio, the groom and i had a conversation for a little – he pulled me to the side and said something that did indeed give me hope – he said that he’s been married before – but this was different, he knew within six weeks of dating his now new wife, that she really was the one – she was his best friend.

he said that he’s not surprised a man hasn’t come around and swept me off my  feet – i’m hard to please, but he told me to close my eyes, and my second half will find me, all i have to do is believe.

and you know, maybe he’s right, maybe i need to let go of every situation in my life – rather than controlling it, maybe that’s when things will fall into place.

for twenty years of breathing on this planet, i have yet to find a genuine spark – i mean, thats a lie, i found one, but i guess the reality of it is, i’m not worth it.

one day at a time, i’m learning to take myself out of the situation i created in my head. because i did, i guess it was a little too good to be true, i say i found no flaw – but the biggest flaw of it all, is where its taken me.

i know what i deserve, i know that it will come to me. i’m done making an effort because it hasn’t made a difference.

tonight, i will dream beautiful dreams, with high hopes for a fabulous tomorrow – i’m the best of the best.

i’m the IT girl.

 

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2 thoughts on “inhale.

  1. YOU SAID: “for twenty years of breathing on this planet, i have yet to find a genuine spark – i mean, thats a lie, i found one, but i guess the reality of it is, i’m not worth it.”
    Well 20 yrs is 100% of your lifetime, but in the greater scope it’s not that much. You are worth IT! Be open to life. Do not try to map it. Life is not what you plan!

    • it is my whole lifetime, and you can say that it’s not that much – but it feels like it =/

      i know i’m worth it. i’m doing my best to seriously just, enjoy everything. today is a new day. i’m being optimistic :)

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