hopefully, time will tell.


this past sunday, i went to church. – i almost always go to church, almost every sunday that is.

when i go, i do pray, i usually end up talking to my grandma during mass, in my head of course. i miss her.

i miss my grandpa too; but i know they’re watching over me.

but anyway, last sunday, i took a minute to look around, i was observing families – i wasn’t really in the best mood, everything seemed to be bugging me, to my left, across the center – was a family of four, a mom in her 30s glancing over at her new born daughter which was in her infant carrier, placed on the pew in front of her – maybe she was two months old, and beside her, was her four year old looking son, standing next to his daddy. they all looked so happy. every time the little baby would tear up, her older brother would cradle her so that she would stop, he made her smile – which made his mom smile. which made me think – that little boy will become a teenager, he will grow up – hopefully protecting his little sister throughout his life, sometimes, they’ll fight – i hope that everytime they do, their love allows them to forgive eachother. the girl will grow up, she will attend school, meet boys, do her thing with her life – -at this point, they’re all in it together, the kids are eachother’s best friends, the parents care for them with everything that they have, the amount of love is portrayed with every touch and every word, but one day, whether the kids decide on creating their own clothing company and living in new york or attending a private college in the middle of ohio, their parents will always love their kids – at least thats how it should be, right?

i always have this image of what my family is, what we look like to the outside world and how i feel as a family member, as the daughter to my parents and sister to two brothers. and i compare my friends’ families and strangers’ families – and just how different our situations are, seems bizarre.

you never really know how your kids will turn out. you can nurture them, and teach them, and shower them with gifts on a daily basis – but you never really know how their life will turn out. unfortunately, some families are broken, some kids are born to no parents, some kids are born into abusive families, drug abusing families, some kids are not ever truly loved by their parents, however – i’m proud to say, i am one of the kids born into a family that honestly loves me. my parents have done everything in their will and power to get to where we are – and no, they didn’t do it for themselves, they did it for me and my brothers.

i’m probably not making any sense. but i’ve been thinking a lot about all of this stuff.

one is born. one is fed. one has a roof over one’s head. [ <<< hahaha that rhymed] lmao sorry.

^^ but not, everyone.

i consider myself, very very very lucky.

anyway. take a minute to look at your life. it’s okay to compare and contrast yourself to others. however, make sure you stick to being yourself. don’t look at how your family could be more like that other family. focus on how you can better your life and your family’s life.

take the time to smile, to be happy, to love.

love everyone.

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2 thoughts on “hopefully, time will tell.

  1. so last sunday you really did not pray in church, you took your time eye-stalking people ;) while i was checking out the gay couple behind us. jkkk

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