awkwardness. to the max.

i don’t consider myself a business owner, i’m not one, however my whole life, my parents have owned a business, all of which have been in the food industry. and to be honest, it gets really hectic, time consuming – and in my opinion, totally not worth the money. i’ve been by my parents’ side always, helping them here and there, but that’s life, it’s whatever. you come across certain situations in this business, as i’m sure you do in other business’ as well, employee + employer bonds, friendships, loyalty – theft, awkward conversations – having to ‘fire’ someone for the right reasons, constantly making sure your employees are doing their jobs to the best of their ability – it’s really quite annoying, because in the end – no matter how close your relationship between an employer and employee is – even if this employee is a great friend – at the end of the day, you are the one paying the bills, hoping that your customers are fed and completely satisfied – you can’t sleep at night because you plan on how you will decorate your restaurant for the upcoming holiday, you create an exquisite menu hoping that the chef’s prepare the dishes the way you would like to –

something happened today

my parents are away tonight, they went to hang out with some friends, and they rarely get the chance to really go out and not worry about everything – we don’t really have a manager at the restaurant, because we don’t really need one – my parents are always home, they take care of everything [idk if i mentioned the fact that ‘home’ is right above the restaurant] anyway, when i can – i try and give them a night so that they can leave, so today – [tonight] i’m the boss, i’m attempting my best at pulling through with the role of making sure everything is tip top perfect. and surely, as always – everything went smoothly, we had a full restaurant & a packed bar, which is grand

our employees here, all get along. and honestly, i love them all – and it sucks. i feel that the bond i have with our employees is dangerous. for one thing, they assume they can get away with anything, secondly, i mean it can get really awkward if they do something – that isn’t maybe done the right way – and i have to tell them about it, i mean most of the employees here are older than me – therefore, taking orders from a nineteen year old – rarely sounds serious, and that blows.

you know, my parents went through a hell of a fucking lot to get where they are today, and no – it is no one’s business as to how many hours they worked or how they managed to get by without knowing the english language – no one should give a shit as to how many hardships they surpassed, but to assume that you are better than them, that you are a bigger person, shame shame shame; and unfortunately, the majority of the people doing this, are american. they are the people working for my parents who have the balls to think less of them. it’s all bologna really. cause baby, my parents are the shit. they’re the best.

i was brought up in a way that to think that respect is really, top priority. i think i do a good job of respecting my peers, employees, parents, elders, anyone – i think i do my best to respect everyone and anyone. i do my best not to lie and i do not steal. i don’t comprehend thoughts of people wanting to take what isn’t theirs. it’s hard for me to put myself in that position.

i feel like my body is too young for my thoughts

i feel like an adult, however i haven’t yet started to pay my bills

i’m rambling, i can’t really tell you what happened tonight. but it hurt me. it’s weird when someone you like, someone you trust – attempts taking advantage of you.

unfortunately, a lot of people do it.

it’s 10:54 pm; my parents are still out.

the dining room is closed, the servers have left, the kitchen is close, the chefs have left

my brother is still working, he’s bar-tending, there’s about eight people left in the bar

my head hurts, however i can’t leave yet, i’m going to wait for my parents

to all you in bed, goodnight.



One thought on “awkwardness. to the max.

  1. word.

    youre completely right about everything you wrote. for majority of the reasons i think i should stay upstairs and do my homework instead of being down there. getting into the whole mess is unnecessary and could create uncomfortable situations. i am more than happy to help out from time to time but lets leave it at that.
    p.s. ta osoba o ktorej piszesz wydawala mi sie dzisiaj bardzo falszywa. ive noticed a double personality going on.

    do you want some nyquil by your bedside? :D

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