i had a conversation with my mom yesterday morning – all about how to not give a fuck – basically.
every year, since i can remember – the first thing i did when i woke up on christmas day, was grabbed my cellphone – while still in bed & texted almost everyone in my contacts list – and no i didn’t chain text them – i actually wrote out meaningful stuff for that person individually – however this year, for the first time in my life – i didn’t.
i wanted to see who thought of me.
selfish? maybe. probably. however i’m always the one to initiate things. always. and perhaps that’s my fault – but i was pleasantly surprised with the messages i got & the people i got them from; it kind of surprised me to see who i didn’t receive messages from – but that’s life.. it’s all about surprises.
this christmas wasn’t extravagant – we had a family dinner & i only received a few gifts – which were great & dinner was fabulous ; however theres something about the whole gift giving thing i don’t really understand. no offense to anyone i know if you’re reading this – however i really can’t stand when this question is asked “are we exchanging gifts this year” i mean – really? no – if it’s too much of a hassle – let’s not, however christmas is the time to give – you don’t have to go to short hills and buy me anything – write me a card – get me a flower – wish me a merry christmas – don’t make the 25th of december awkward & don’t buy me anything because you know i’m buying something for you – at school – i was hoping to buy all of my closest friends something – a little something so that when they look back at the christmas of 2009 they will have something from me – however – everyone is all caught up in the ‘i don’t have any money’ – which is fine, and understandable.
i feel like i’m always trying my hardest to please the people around me & it often feels like they don’t.
it’s whatever – i’m ranting
i had a wonderful christmas ; i hope you did aswell!
with this year coming to an end – i hope true happiness will find me – i hope i rid my life of worries & live long and healthy.
— surely, that will most likely not happen – however a girl can be optimistic ;p