life as i know it

i had a conversation with my mom yesterday morning – all about how to not give a fuck – basically.

every year, since i can remember – the first thing i did when i woke up on christmas day, was grabbed my cellphone – while still in bed & texted almost everyone in my contacts list – and no i didn’t chain text them – i actually wrote out  meaningful stuff for that person individually – however this year, for the first time in my life – i didn’t.

i wanted to see who thought of me.

selfish? maybe. probably. however i’m always the one to initiate things. always. and perhaps that’s my fault – but i was pleasantly surprised with the messages i got & the people i got them from; it kind of surprised me to see who i didn’t receive messages from – but that’s life.. it’s all about surprises.

this christmas wasn’t extravagant – we had a family dinner & i only received a few gifts – which were great & dinner was fabulous ; however theres something about the whole gift giving thing i don’t really understand. no offense to anyone i know if you’re reading this – however i really can’t stand when this question is asked “are we exchanging gifts this year” i mean – really? no – if it’s too much of a hassle – let’s not, however christmas is the time to give – you don’t have to go to short hills and buy me anything – write me a card – get me a flower – wish me a merry christmas – don’t make the 25th of december awkward & don’t buy me anything because you know i’m buying something for you – at school – i was hoping to buy all of my closest friends something – a little something so that when they look back at the christmas of 2009 they will have something from me – however – everyone is all caught up in the ‘i don’t have any money’ – which is fine, and understandable.

i feel like i’m always trying my hardest to please the people around me & it often feels like they don’t.

it’s whatever – i’m ranting

i had a wonderful christmas ; i hope you did aswell!

with this year coming to an end – i hope true happiness will find me – i hope i rid my life of worries & live long and healthy.

— surely, that will most likely not happen – however a girl can be optimistic ;p


3 thoughts on “life as i know it

  1. I honestly was thinking about not sending a Merry Christmas text to all my friends either but I gave in. I personalized each text message which took a hell of alot of time but I got it done. Some really appreciated it and some didnt respond back (which pissed me off). I hate having to initiate everything first as well and trying to please people when they dont appreciate it. Selfish bastards but hey thats on them

  2. The only people who got gifts from me were my kids. Everyone understands though. It’s hard enough buying them gifts and I really wish I had the money to get everyone else something but I just don’t. Surprisingly enough, I got a few gifts. My son’s grandma got me some fuzzy slippers and picture frames lol which was thoughtful enough. But the big shocker was when my sister’s boyfriend came over with gifts for everyone. I’m sure you remember me saying me and him aren’t the best of friends. He just signed with the Jaguars a couple weeks ago and he bought my son a flying helicopter and a football, bought my fiance some roc-a-wear cologne and got me a freaking $238 spa package! I couldn’t even believe it and I felt horrible. It felt sort of wrong taking it for many reasons but hey, this is the first time he has done something like this and he put thought into the presents so I gladly accepted. I would have been happy if he just came over and said Merry Christmas but I guess the spa package was sort of a perk lol.

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